


In My Darkness, Bind Me

by anarchycox



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bloodplay, Bondage, Dark, Dubious Consent, For Me, Fragmented Narrative, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pain (Physical and Emotional), less graphic sex than you might think, not the usual anarchycox ball of fluff, very brief ex-Destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:47:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 9 Canon Divergence. Dean has the MoC and the first blade and is quickly losing himself. Kevin and Castiel know the only way to help Dean is to get back one guy - Benny Lafitte. Can Benny help Dean control himself, can he save Dean before he’s lost to the darkness? Story deals with present day as well as flashbacks to Purgatory and their time together on earth in season 8.</p>
<p>Written for the Supernatural Kink Big Bang 2015 (this is a mini bang).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, this is definitely a different style of writing and story for me. There are a couple notes to help you out.  
> The big thing is that this is in non-linear story telling. I've tried to make the time shifts as clear as possible, but I did intend to have the jumps about leave the readers a little unsettled, that's why there isn't a difference in font or type.  
> There is mention of ex-Destiel.  
> A big change to canon is that after they take apart Benny's old nest, Sam doesn't catch up to them on the dock, he doesn't find them until the next morning.
> 
> I cannot tell you how much I like and appreciate the art that was drawn for this story by the very talented uke-sama (http://uke-sama.tumblr.com/). She created the amazing banner for the story and did just a fantastic job visualizing one of the key scenes in the story.
> 
> A huge thank you to my beta ambersagan (http://ambersagen.tumblr.com/)

_What Dean couldn’t explain, even if he would have tried, was that the fires of hell didn’t burn hot, but cold. Sure there were flames that licked at your skin, but they froze you, flayed you open with ice._

_The Mark of Cain, etched red in his skin should have glowed blue._

_It wouldn’t burn the heart out of him, but freeze solid, shatter it into a million pieces._

_No king’s horsemen, no king’s men. No one could ever put Dean back together again._

*****

It had only been a few months gone, so Benny settled back into Purgatory easily enough.

Run. Hide. Fight. Kill. Try to forget, try not to remember.

He hid in shadows, listened to others speak. Before he had left, monsters talked of the Winchesters. It was almost a point of pride if you were killed by the Winchesters. For evil creatures, it was Winchesters who hid under your bed.

Only now, there was little talk of Sam Winchester. It was all Dean. And now instead of anger, or resignation, or even that weird pride, it was terror. Abject terror. He heard ruthless, merciless, powerful. And more than one creature was heard to whisper the word monstrous.

*****

Kevin went to the gas station where Castiel worked. He stood in line with a bag of chips and an energy drink. When he got to the front, Castiel looked at the prophet. Kevin looked tired, worn. Castiel tilted his head, and scared. Kevin looked scared.

"Hey Cas."

"Kevin."

"You need to come to the bunker. Dean's...it's bad. I need your help."

*****

"Hey Benny, why am I tied to a tree?" Dean struggled, but was held fast. "Also, where in Purgatory do you find this much rope?"

Benny crouched across from Dean and smiled, "Can't trust you to not disappear after your angel in the dead of night."

"We have a deal." Dean complained. He pulled and twisted, but somehow that just made it all tighter.

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to take a hunter's word?" Benny scratched at his cheek with a blade.

"Yeah, kind of like how I'm trusting the word of a damn vamp!" Dean swore and kicked his leg futilely.

"Just take a nap Dean, I'll stand watch."

*****

"Why do you trust this vampire so much?" Sam yelled.

"Because he's never let me down!" Dean yelled back.

*****

"Nah, you don't owe me nothing." Benny said, sadness, honesty (love) in his eyes.

*****

"Sam, you should come back to the bunker, we need help with Dean." Kevin left the message. "I've called in Castiel. It's the mark, Sam. Dean - he's gone hunting, but it's not like anything ever before. We're losing him. Losing him to the mark. Come home, help us figure this out. If he finds the First Blade it's all over." Kevin hung up. It was the fifth voice mail he had left.

*****

Dean stood, arms shaking, the blood of five ghouls pouring around him, splattered on him. The mark glowed red.

It should have been blue. Ice as flames pouring through his skin, seeping into his mind, hardening his heart.

The blade felt heavy in his hand, wrong.

No, wait, right.

*****

Benny stood in Purgatory, facing a couple Leviathans. Figured his time was up and he'd finally find out what happened when you killed a monster in the monster afterlife.

They didn't get near him. Instead light poured up from under his feet. Pain exploded as his body seemed to disintegrate.

*****

"Are you sure this will work?" Castiel asked Kevin. The prophet just kept muttering and going over his notes.

"The books say it will, but it's not the easiest magic, not exactly the type of thing we are supposed to do." Kevin looked down at work, listing the supplies he would need. "You know the same things I do, you were there for some of it. And me being hardwired into them, thanks to the fucking Winchester gospels situation means I caught glimpses of things I really didn't want to see. He's our best option."

Castiel nodded. "I will make ready a cell in the basement."

*****

Benny slowly came to, aching in ways he didn't think possible. He blinked and looked around. Cell, not small, but not too large. Hands cuffed, chained.

He heard the scrape of a chair. Looked over. Swore. "You know, could have gone longer without seeing you again Sam."

*****

"Hey Benny, why am I always tied up?" Dean wiggled his bound hands as he lay on the bed of the motel they had stopped at after returning to land from killing the old man. Dean figured Sam wouldn't catch up until morning. He was right.

"Because you like it." Benny said. "Because you want it." He approached slowly. There was a feast waiting to be enjoyed.

 

 


	2. Morning Brother

_What Dean couldn't explain, would never explain, was how Benny made him feel._

_One night, late in a hotel room he secretly watched Tangled._

_He understood the sentence "You were my new dream."_

*******

Dean woke up slowly, gradually pulled to awareness by aching muscles, stiff wrists and shoulders, a small bit of rope burn on one ankle. He turned to the noise at the bathroom door - smiled at Benny.

"Morning brother," Benny said. He came to the bed and checked Dean over. Dean tried to swat away the concern. He didn't try very hard. Benny kissed each and every mark. Slid a hand across Dean's awakening cock, growing heavy with morning heat. Benny gave a tug but then let go, "Sorry darling, but shouldn't your brother be here any minute?"

Dean pouted, a whimper escaping his lips, "Maybe not."

The sound of a car roaring into a spot near their room made a lie of that statement. Dean quickly threw on clothes as Sammy started banging on the door.

Benny opened it, "You must be Sam, I've heard a lot about you." He held out his hand.

Sam shook it, looked at Benny closely, went for the weapon at his hip. Benny stayed loose, calm. Dean stood a little behind Benny and shook his head no. Sam reluctantly stood down. He couldn't see Dean give Benny's back one last, brief touch.

Benny left, careful to skirt by Sam, careful not to say a word. Sam quickly closed the door after him.

*******

Dean woke up slowly, or rather he came to slowly. He wondered at this point how many concussions he has had over the years. He tries to shrug, but quickly realizes that his arms are bound. No, not bound, strung up. He looks up at his arms, wrists encased in leather, metal clanging against metal, a hook up in the ceiling.

The best he can say is that he's wearing pants. The Mark burns its frozen scald.

"Morning brother."

Dean closes his eyes. Takes a breath, but won't open his eyes. If you don't look, you can't be disappointed when its not really there.

"You aren't real. You're dead." Don't look, don't look, don't look.

"Well, yes technically speaking I am dead." That southern drawl that should pour like syrup around Dean, scrapes against his ears. It is a joy, it is a punishment. The whisper of a body moving about. Dean keeps his eyes closed tight, a child hiding from the monster in the closet.

"Not that sort of dead. Dead dead. I killed you myself." Dean hung his head a little more. "You didn't come back. Left me." It's so easy for people to leave me, a thought that is supposed to stay hidden.

"You left me first." was the reply. Dean opens his eyes, head still down, nothing seen out of the corner of his view, the voice comes from the shadows.

"The dead should stay dead." Dean whispers. He heard that once. Or twice.

"You talking about me, or yourself, brother?" Benny finally stepped into the weak light. "Because I have to say, you seem to be doing a bang up job of racing to that whole dead thing." He lays a finger along the Mark, pressed in hard. Dean keened in agony, in pleasure.

******

Dean woke quickly, almost jumping to a seated position, grabbing the machete he had stolen off some random monster.

"Morning brother." Benny called, leaning against a tree. Staring at Dean, always watching the hunter. There was a look in his eye that Dean couldn't quite figure out.

"Yeah how do you know that? Is the grey just a little paler to indicate morning? Cause it all looks the same to me." Dean stretched trying to get the ache out of his lower back.

"Well you slept for four hours, so we'll call that night, which means that now is morning." Benny smiled, dropping his teeth, "can a man get some breakfast?"

Dean just rolled his eyes and ignored the vampire. He looked to the west, "Got a good feeling, today's the day we get a little closer to Cas."

"Your angel must be something in bed, for you to put this much work into finding him." Benny ignored the way Dean froze and tensed just a little bit at that sentence. Filed it away in the back of his mind, but ignored it for now.

"Yeah well, no one gets left behind, right?" Dean started to walk.

"What if they want to be left behind?" Benny fell into pace beside him.

"What if you shut your mouth, if you want to hitch a ride out of here?"

*******

Dean woke, still tired in a motel room. Worse phone calls had been made, but not by much.

Sam was sitting there, typing away as if all was normal, "Morning Dean."

"Hey Sam." Dean sat up, trying not to think about Benny's voice.

"You get everything squared away?" Sam asked, not looking up.

"Yeah, you?" Dean stood and headed to the bathroom.

"Yeah." Sam's hand clenched the edge of the table a little too hard.

Dean hoped the shower would cover his gasping breaths. Always the adios.

 


	3. Magic Fingers

_What Dean would never talk about was his finger tapping._

_Against the wheel, against his leg. He was counting._

_One hand was for everyone who left him, left him behind._

_One hand was for everyone he left behind._

_Dad. Sam. Cas. Mom._

_Cas. Lisa. Benny._

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

*******

"Well hot wings, seems you have magic fingers." Benny said, as Castiel brought him some blood. Sam hadn't been back in since that first day. He had left to hunt Dean down. Hunt Dean, before it was too late. Too late for what they weren't sure. "Must have been some serious mojo to get me here."

Castiel leaned over, unchained Benny. Benny moved his wrists around, walked about a bit. Castiel handed him a blood pouch, and Benny ate hungrily. Once he was done, he looked hard at Castiel.

"You ain't looking so good. And I've seen you look pretty bad."

Castiel smiled at the bluntness, "Humanity is tiring."

"Ah," was all Benny said. "Things went to shit didn't they?"

"You should have come back with Sam." Castiel replied firmly.

"Would that have really fixed or stopped anything that's happened?"

"Maybe, possibly." Castiel took a breath. "Or not."

"I didn't fit. I couldn't last, not without him. You know that. You've been there."

"But I left him. I always leave him. We all do." Castiel was sad.

Benny just shook his head, "He leaves us too."

"Maybe it's time someone stayed."

"And that's me." Benny asked. Castiel nodded. "You never ask for much, do you hot wings?"

Castiel just handed over some more blood. They sat in silence together. Waiting. They were both really good at waiting for Dean.

*******

Benny watched the angel throw down and burn out another vampire, leaving just a husk, a shell. "Well at least the crazy bird has some magic fingers. Maybe collecting him will be useful after all." Benny turned and slammed his blade through the vamp trying to come up behind him.

Dean was at his back, working in sync with Benny, the months of travel, of survival making them a unit. Cas stood up, watched the two of them together. He and Dean had that connection once. But then they broke. He tilted his head, tried to figure out who broke whom first, wondered if it mattered. Wondered if they could be fixed.

He watched Dean grin, brush against Benny. He remembered that smile, it used to be for him. He heard leaves rustle, saw more incoming.

"Leviathans!" Cas yelled, ready to fight. They all fell into formation. If he couldn't make Dean smile like that anymore, at least he could get him out of here. Get them out of there. Penance would be payed.

******

"Nice to see you've still got those magic fingers." Benny called out as Castiel finished up the demons surrounding Benny.

"Hello Benny." Castiel looked at the vampire. He seemed well, Cas thought, months gone by since that time spent in the bunker.

"Castiel, appreciate the assist, but what are you doing here?" Benny cleaned off his blade.

"He misses you." Castiel felt awkward.

Benny shrugged, "I did my job, got him stable, got me stable. Was made clear I wasn't welcome to stay. Did the job, got paid, got the move along speech."

"He misses you." Cas repeated.

"Maybe he does. But he'll never choose me, and I can't watch him leave. I'm not you." Benny didn't mean to be harsh as he watched Cas flinch, but it was the truth.

"What if he always came back?" Castiel handed him a key, an address, and a map. Left.

******

"Why does the bed have magic fingers?" Benny asked staring at the coin machine.

"Sweet!" Dean yelled rummaging through his pocket and putting the quarters in. They watched as the bed shook, once, twice, and then stopped with a mechanical hiss.

Benny just looked at Dean.

"Well you've got all the magic fingers I need." Dean wiggled his brows.

Benny just sighed. Maybe a gag would be useful after all.

 

 

 


	4. The Fine Print

_What Dean would never say was one night in the dark he almost made a deal._

_Cas was gone, sent away, Sam was still so broken from the trials. It was so lonely._

_But Dean for once thought about the fine print._

_No deal. No kiss to wake the sleeping prince._

********

_"_ Come on it's a great deal." Dean yelled in the crossroads.

"No." She circled around him, "One year. Then you belong to us."

"Fine." It got Sam back, who cared about the rest.

*********

He was supposed to be the one doing the trials, Sam looked so tired, so sick.

But it would be fine. Kevin would have seen if there was anything else they needed to know.

********

Cain kept going on about trusting someone, loving someone being the only thing that might help control the mark. An anchor if you will.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

He was doing this for Sam, Sam would always be enough.

********

"Oops." Kevin looked back at the book.

Castiel and Sam's heads snapped towards the prophet. Oops was never good. Oops from Kevin was really never good.

"What oops Kevin?" Sam asked.

"I might have missed some fine print on the spell we used." Kevin hurriedly flipped through some pages. "Benny needs blood."

"Well yes, we know that." Castiel was confused how this was news.

"No, he needs it everyday now. At least for a bit, until he is stable. We ripped a monster out, we need to feed the monster until it remembers its humanity."

"Great. Stupid fine print." Sam muttered.

Kevin glared at him, "Like any of you have ever actually thought everything through. You look at the fine print of drinking demon blood? Did Castiel ever ask Metatron about the fine print? No? Then shut up."

Sam did shut up, Kevin was right after all.

*********

Benny looked at the hunter. His humanity just shone so brightly, so light in all the grey. "How'd you even end up here brother?"

"Didn't really read the fine print about standing too close to ground zero when banishing the Leviathans." Dean shrugged, "Not the worst result."

Benny winced, "How fucked up is your world?"

Dean grinned. Didn't answer, just headed west.

*******

Dean was for the moment, not strung up, not chained. The mark wasn't blazing, just sitting on his skin. He stared at Benny. Benny stared back.

"So, did you even pay attention to the fine print, or just leap in as usual?" Benny asked, hypnotized by the red mark, the scar on Dean's skin - in Dean's skin.

"Only way to kill a knight of hell. I've done worse, it will be fine."

"Really, having your family chain you up is fine? Having them perform seriously questionable magic to get me here is fine?"

Dean shrugged, tried to be indifferent. "It's our job. I have it under control."

"You don't kill, the mark eats you alive. You do kill, it just feeds off that, needing more and more, until it eats you alive. How do you win out of that? It needs blood, it will get it one way or the other."

"Yeah well so do you." Dean yelled.

"You're right. I need blood. It needs blood." Benny dropped his fangs, "Think we might work something out?"

Dean gulped. Maybe he should ask about the fine print. Benny came closer and closer. Picked up Dean's arm, grazed his teeth across the raised mark. Fuck the fine print. Dean moaned.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Do You Trust Me?

_What Dean couldn't ever fully explain to Sam was his easy trust in Benny._

_Because it wasn't easy._

_It was hard, it was earned, it was bound in blood, in rope._

_No, not easy, but pure. Pure in a way it couldn't be with anyone else._

_But certain things little brothers don't need to know._

********

"What, don't you trust me brother?" Benny asked, standing over the body of the vampire he had been hanging out with for the last little bit while they hunted the human down.

"Not even remotely." Dean replied, grabbing the guy's fallen weapon.

"Good." Benny explained the way out of Purgatory, that Dean would let him hitch along. "Now do you trust me?"

"Nope."

********

"How much do you trust me Dean?" Benny asked, stripping Dean's clothes slowly off. Dean wanted to push away Benny's fingers, move quickly over the buttons, push the pants off as fast as possible. They had this night, the one extra chance after killing the old man. Who knew when they'd see each other again after this.

Benny just grabbed Dean's wrists, kissed each in turn and returned them back to his side. "I asked you a question Dean."

"I trust you a bit, I guess." Dean tried for nonchalant. Neither man bought it.

Benny asked once more, reaching the last button, "How much do you trust me?"

"Enough." Dean said quietly. It was more than anyone else except Sam got. Benny pulled the t-shirt up and off Dean's head. Undid the jeans, pushed them and boxers down at the same time. He nudged Dean to a seated position, removing the bottoms, pulling socks off. Shook his head at the holes, planning to darn them when Dean slept.

He stood and went to his bag, pulled out some rope, clean, smooth, better than anything they had in Purgatory. He put the hank on the bed, Dean ran a finger over it. Held out his wrists to Benny. Benny kissed them again. He did so love those pulse points. They were quickly enveloped in rope.

********

There was a post in the room that Dean and Benny took over, wood but smooth, no splinters allowed. The room was well buried in the bunker, away from the other residents. No one needed to hear what they would be doing. Benny pulled Dean's arms behind and enclosed his wrists in leather cuffs, heavy duty chain between. It was the first time that Benny hadn't kissed his wrists before tying him. He came back around to Dean's face. Neither man was paying attention to the fact that Dean was naked, Benny fully dressed. It was after all, pretty common for them. Dean unarmored, flannel shirt as good as mail. Benny covered, showing his control over the situation. Dean liked the feel of it against his skin, Benny sometimes only undoing his zipper when Dean was begging.

Dean was pouting, just a little. "No kiss?" It was a habit that he had grown used to, though it had been so long now since it had happened.

Benny shook his head, "You know I'm a little too hungry right now, not quite adjusted yet. Your pretty little pulse, I can hear it, it's sped up, you're excited. I get too close, might not stop at a kiss." He drawled this, sounding easy, feeling anything but.

Dean shook his head, moved his wrists around so the chain clanked, "I trust you. Do it right."

Benny returned behind Dean undid one side of the cuffs. He stilled, crouched. He traced one finger tip gently along that thin blue vein, felt the pulse quicken under his finger. Benny leaned forward, lay his lips against the wrist, a gentle kiss. He dared to push just a little, let his tongue take a little lick. Encased that wrist and reached for the next.

"Still trust me?" Benny rasped, voice heavy.

Dean didn't answer as the cuff snapped open. He didn't need to, they both knew the answer.

*********

"When you get back with Sam, it will be different. I'm sorry I let you down, but this time will be better, we'll get you sorted, I'll be available. Trust me." Dean's eyes were broken, desperate. Desperate to get Sam back, desperate not to do what he had to do to get his brother back.

"Of course brother, let's do this." At least they could say, thanks to experience, Dean was quick at beheading a vampire.

*********

There was a dead man on the ground, neck torn open. Benny stood near him, Dean looked at the tableau.

"I didn't kill him. Trust me." Benny pleaded, Dean had to believe him or he had nothing.

"I do. We need to find who's doing this, before Martin goes even crazier and tries to take you out." Dean smiled, it was easy for him. "Let's get this mess cleaned up."

*********

Dean was happy that Castiel was with them, he had missed the bastard. What he wasn't happy about was the sniping between the two guys. Their back and forth was killing him and he said as much. Constantly. Vocally.

It was the third night after they collected Cas when Dean realized something. Cas had not gone to sleep, but was zoned out, or something like that. Dean went to where Benny was sitting.

"You haven't tied me up."

"Well you got your boy back, didn't think you would run at this point. Not after this long."

"You trust me that much?"

"At this point, is there a reason I shouldn't?" Benny asked. "You and hot wings there going to take off in the night? You don't know where to go, and you need my extra blade to fight off everything coming after you."

Dean thought about it. He was a little quieter. "You haven't tied me up."

"Oh." Benny realized what Dean meant by the words. He had ditched the extra rope when they had found the angel, but there was twine in his pocket. He pulled Dean after him, a little more into the trees. He pushed Dean's sleeves up just a bit.

"You need this?"

"It...it..." Dean couldn't figure out the right word. "I'm used to it, you've been doing it for months." He sighed. "It calms my brain. I can't worry, can't plan, when you tie me up, it just lets me be." It was the most emotion Dean had let slip in their entire time together.

Benny nodded, thought he understood. He kissed each wrist, something he had never done while he thought Dean was awake. He wrapped the twine around each wrist, bound them together.

He reached down, rubbed his hand over Dean, "Want more?" Dean nodded, hungry for it. The zipper pull sounded so loud.

Dean had always been awake for those kisses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chaining Chaos

_What Dean would never talk about was his mind._

_How it never stopped, too many thoughts. A raging storm._

_He didn't really think anyone would believe that._

_Sam was the brains. He was the soldier._

_Blades shouldn't think._

********

"We need to get you under control again." Benny said, leaning against the wall, sitting beside Dean.

Dean wasn't looking good. He was sweating, the mark was glowing. Was hungry. He was shaking, losing his grip. His hand was clenching, aching with emptiness. He needed the blade to feel full, to feel complete. If he could just hold the blade, it would be fine.

He started to rock, not realizing he was saying this out loud.

Benny moved to sit in front of Dean. He grabbed the hand that was grasping, spasming. He opened the fingers one by one. Placed his hand inside. Dean couldn't control his fingers, they snapped shut over Benny's hand, grabbing tight.

"I give you the blade, you'll just take my head again."

"I wouldn't." Dean tried to protest.

"Wouldn't you?" Benny let their hands stay together as Dean squeezed tighter and tighter. "We don't calm your brain, the mark will swallow you whole. We get you controlled, then we figure out how to feed the mark without losing you in the process."

"Just that easy?" Dean asked.

"No, but it's what we got."

********

Sam wasn't supposed to be down there, but he couldn't stop himself. He knew now that Benny wasn't bad, look what he did for Sam and Bobby in Purgatory, but he still couldn't understand why Castiel and Kevin were so sure that they needed him. They could help Dean, they were his family. He knew Castiel and Dean had that profound bound, it had to count for something.

Sam walked down the hallway trying to puzzle out why it was Benny that would make such a difference. Kevin and Castiel both said to trust them, that Castiel knew that Benny had kept Dean sane in Purgatory. Kevin occasionally got this look on his face, a flinch and a blush, but just said that Benny could help Dean's self-control.

Twice a day Castiel was leaving a small blood pouch for Benny at the door. Sam tried not to think where that blood might be coming from.

It had been three days since Benny and Dean told everyone to not disturb them, three days since Sam had seen Dean. He had never meant for things to wrong so quickly. He knew he was right, they needed to stop choosing each other over the world. But still, the fight, the running, the same pattern was getting old. Only this time, Dean went too far. Finding the first blade on his own, going nuts like he did, Sam didn't expect that. Everything was in chaos, there had to be order somewhere in there.

He stopped in front of their door. Sam placed his hand on it, listened, waited as if he could somehow see through the reinforced wood.

Soon enough he heard a shout. Dean's shout. But it was slightly different. Over the years he had heard all of Dean's yells. Scared, angry, hurt, and yes even his happy yells (the motels they stayed in didn't have the thickest walls). This was off though, new.

Dean shouted again, this time Sam could hear words, "Fuck, Benny, fuck. It's too goddamn much. Shit. Fuck. Come on man, enough. I can't take more."

Sam couldn't make out Benny words, just that there was a rumble of a reply.

Silence. Dead silence.

Then a fierce, "NO! Let me go. Enough of this." He could hear Dean struggle.

Sam knew it, knew this wouldn't work. He dropped to a crouch and started to work on the three locks on the door. He was rushing, panicking, the bolts not sliding as easily as they should. Finally, finally the door swings open and Sam stumbles in, grabbing his knife.

He can't process what he sees. Sam blinks, but no the visual stays the same. The three make an awkward tableau. Sam ready to attack. Benny kneeling at Dean's feet, hand still on Dean's hard cock. And Dean.

Dean blindfolded.

Dean bound.

Dean trussed up to a post like a thanksgiving turkey. Hands cuffed behind the post, pushing his chest up and out. Shoulders also encased in rope that traveled in a criss cross pattern around his chest snaking down his body.

Sam refused to let his eyes travel below his brother's belly button. He stared at a wall. Coughed. The sound echoed loudly.

"How about you get your hands off Dean and back away. I knew this was a stupid idea." Sam managed to say.

"How about you stop wrecking three days of work and get out?" Benny returned.

"And how in the actual fuck is this helping? Dean was begging you to be let go!" Sam still couldn't really look at either man.

"Sam, get gone." Dean said.

"But..."

"No, get gone. Ask Castiel. He knows. He can explain enough."

Sam turned and walked out. He heard Benny slam the door after him. Sam ran back upstairs.

********

"No we're not moving fast enough." Dean yelled at Benny. "It's been months now...I think. And still no Cas. He can't be that far away."

"Brother, this is Purgatory, you think there are borders? It's an infinite loop. Finding someone isn't exactly easy." Benny leaned against a tree and got comfortable, knowing this was going to take awhile. He was right. Dean started pacing, muttering, waving his hands. It was a process that Dean went through every few nights. Benny tended to let him wear himself out and then stand watch while the hunter slept. Dean usually woke up with a wrist or an ankle tied to something so that he couldn't just disappear on Benny.

The only problem was that this frustration was starting to take a toll on Dean. Benny saw that his nerves were starting to fray, every day that they didn't find the angel. Dean was wound up, sinking into an abyss of chaos. That spelled trouble for both men.

"Can't you go into the woods a bit and take care of yourself, lose your tension? I swear when you get that angel back, I'm leaving you for a day or two, just so you can get this energy out of your system. You need a proper fuck."

Dean scowled. "We're not like that."

"Going to have to call bullshit on that one. No one goes to this much trouble for something other than love."

Dean ran his hands through his hair. "One time, that's it. It was good, but not....ugh..." He spun around, kept pacing. "I need him. He's an idiot, screws up constantly, but he's fucking family. And I'm not leaving here without him."

"So you've said, many times." Benny was tired of all this motion, this restlessness, this untethered energy. He moved closer, crowded Dean into a tree. "Well then brother, how about I help ease your burdens a little." He moved, monster fast, spun Dean, so that his cheek scraped bark. "This is your chance to say no. You get one chance. Because frankly, I'm in the mood for you to shut up, brother. And if you don't take that chance now, you don't get another one, because the rope is going in your mouth."

Dean was silent. He pushed himself back into Benny's arms, just a little bit.

Soon enough all he could do was moan, choke around the rope in his mouth, pull at where his belt was used to tie his wrists. He wished Benny was inside him, but he hadn't exactly fallen into Purgatory with a pocket full of lube. He had to settle for some spit and Benny's hands grasping them both, jerking them off, hard, fast, almost painful.

It was over too quick, pressure building and building and then just gone. Satisfying enough, but not quite what he needed. Benny eased the rope from his mouth and Dean wiggled his jaw side to side. Tried for a smile.

"Well not the best ever, but you know thanks." He waved his fingers a bit, "We done here?"

Benny laughed a little. It wasn't a kind, jolly, sound. "Look closer, brother." Dean tilted his head up off the ground and looked. Realized that Benny was still hard. Not exactly the longest dick he had ever seen, but thick, enticing. He couldn't help but lick his lips.

"You are wound so tight, that that crappy orgasm was just to take the edge off. Now we're going to have some fun. By the time I'm done here, you're lucky if you'll even remember your angel's name." Benny, without any other warning, swallowed around Dean's soft dick, tongue lapping at the slit.

Dean shouted out, hyper sensitive. Benny ignored him. Kept sucking, licking, moving off Dean's cock to his balls, Dean winced, his skin felt thin, drawn.

He didn't forget Cas's name, he could never do that, but for one night he did forget to worry.

******

Sam stood awkwardly in front of Castiel and Kevin. Cas looked disapproving, Kevin looked smug.

"Okay so tell me why Benny hurting Dean is actually going to help him not be destroyed by the mark?" Sam deployed his strongest bitch face.

"Was Dean strung up? When they can, they like to string Dean up." Kevin said cheerfully.

Sam just kind of blubbered a sort of noise.

"Prophet, I'm hardwired into you guys, remember?" Kevin grabbed an apple, "My dreams were of the freaky things they did in Purgatory."

Sam turned to Castiel, "You don't have a problem with this?"

Cas did the head tilt, "Why? Benny eases Dean's mind, his soul. It's why we pulled him out of Purgatory. When he does this, he stills the chaos in Dean. Reminding Dean he's more in control than he thinks, is going to be what saves him."

"But you and Dean..."

"We are what we are. He and Benny are something else." Cas then fired right into Sam's heart, "Did you not know that him leaving Benny was the exact same as you leaving Amelia?"

"I loved Amelia." Sam protested. Cas and Kevin just looked at him. "I did." Sam protested.

"We don't doubt that. But you didn't have to ask to behead her. You didn't have to hear her say yes like it was nothing at all. You didn't have to watch her not come back."

Sam couldn't really respond to that.

He didn't go down that hallway again.

********

The mood was moderately broken so Benny untied Dean, let him go to the bathroom, have a glass of water. Over the three days, Dean had grown stiller, calmer, but the mark was throbbing, craving. They had to get Dean in control of his body, of the mark, so that they could find the balance needed to keep the mark strong enough to defeat Abaddon but not destroy Dean.

Dean did some stretches, turned to Benny. Kissed Benny, nuzzled into his beard a bit. Dean shivered just a little, naked as he was. Benny took a minute and hugged him tight, Benny's body clothed.

"I've got you brother."

Dean nodded into Benny's shoulder and they separated. Ready to begin again.

Instead of the post, Benny got ready to hang Dean. He kissed the pulse points and snapped the cuffs into place. Dean moved his wrists easily inside.

"Too loose, Benny."

Benny ignored this and pulled the short chain between the wristbands and hung it over the ceiling hook. Dean's body was stretched out, a long line. He kept twisting his wrists this way and that.

Benny walked behind him, leaned in close so that Dean's naked back was now flush against Benny's covered chest.

"I want you to have room to struggle." He whispered. Dean shivered. Benny let his fangs drop and he dragged them down Dean's neck and across his shoulder. "And I promise you, you will struggle." Benny reached his hand down and around, gripping Dean's growing erection. Dean pushed into the hand, but Benny let go. "You are going to struggle and cry and plead and beg. And only when you can calm yourself, only when you can be still and centered, then...then you get to come."

Dean swallowed heavily. Benny's free hand went to his throat, felt the next swallow happen. "You're going to hate me in a few hours."

"Couldn't." Dean said quietly.

"We'll see." The hand on his throat moved so that a finger was by Dean's lips, "Suck. It's the only lube you get right now."

Dean sucked.

 

 

 

 


	7. Because It's Got To Be Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes the awesome, but incredibly NSFW art by the very talented uke-sama (uke-samamakesart.tumblr.com). I will put it at the end of the chapter with space and a warning so that you can scroll back up and avoid seeing it if you need/want to. Again I want to thank my artist for their hard work.

_What Dean would never talk about was the first time Benny bit him._

_He orgasmed._

_On his death bed (his actual final deathbed) he would deny it._

_That was just too Twilight level shit there._

_Not that he'd know anything about Twilight._

_Stupid lamb._

************

Dean felt calm, really at the core calm. There was this small place of rest in the centre of him, that hadn't been there before. It matched that weird reflective tone that Cain had used. But still the mark would kill him if it couldn't be fed. Dean needed blood.

He washed up, alone for the first time in days. Castiel brought him a burger. And pie.

Dean smiled, "Thanks man. You okay?"

"As well as can be expected." Castiel put the tray down, "You look better."

"Feeling better, ready for part two." He took a bite, groaned at how good it was. He thought about everything he had been up to in the last few days. Watched Cas's eyes trace the bruises on his neck, wrists, how Dean was eating standing and not sitting. "I'm fine."

"I know." Cas got up to leave.

"Cas..." Dean didn't know what to say.

"I know." Cas repeated. He left.

Dean mowed through the rest of the meal, wondering what was next. He didn't have to wait long. Benny returned and came with the first blade.

Dean twitched a bit, but stayed still, stayed away from the blade. Benny smiled at his control. He flipped it so it was hilt out to Dean.

"Mark needs blood, right? Feed it, or it feeds off you?" Benny asked, pulling his suspenders down so they hung against his legs. He worked his shirt up and off. Dean realized that it was his first time seeing Benny's chest since he had been back. Still looked good.

Benny stepped closer, "Well brother, let's give it some food." He grabbed Dean's wrist and moved his hand so that the blade lay against Benny's skin. "It's fine. Pay the piper. Long as you don't cut anything off, we're good to go. Nice little loophole that. It feeds, gets strong enough, but you ain't killing, so not strong enough to destroy you. That Sam does have a decent thought or two in that giant head of his."

Dean hesitated.

Benny pushed the wrist, so that the blade cut into him just a little bit.

*******

A ghoul had gotten a jump on them. Took a lot out of Benny before Dean could get to it. He managed to drag Benny to a small hollow in the rock, in the hills. Not quite a cave, but a good bit of cover. Benny was out for the whole of it.

He came to some time later, awoke to Dean's fathomless stare. He had no idea what that look meant.

"Don't get fucking dead. Need you."

"Don't worry brother. I'll keep my end of the deal." Benny pushed himself up a bit so he was sitting, leaning really.

Dean looked out at the woods, at the grey. "Need you." was repeated. Silence. "You good to go?"

"In a bit, would be quicker if I could feed." Benny admitted.

Dean walked over, sliced his arm a bit. Benny lapped at the blood.

********

Benny and Dean made their way up, out of the basement. Made their way to the library. Faced the trio who had come up with the plan. Let them know, that for right now at least it seemed like a success. Seemed like the mark wasn't destroying Dean.

Near as they could tell, Dean should occasionally hurt monsters, bleed them a bit, but avoid killing them with the blade. Leave that to Sam. They didn't know if the loophole would last, what would happen when Dean killed Abaddon, but it was a lot more than they had had before.

Dean was more human than he had been in a long time.

Benny wasn't sure what he was, but he needed to feed a little less each day. The marks the blade had left on his skin faded quick enough. The bite he left on Dean's inner thigh would take a little longer.

Kevin cheered, Castiel smiled, Sam hugged Dean. Dean hugged Sam back.

Benny received nods of acknowledgment.

And a beat up truck. And a fraudulent credit card. Some cash. A cooler full of blood. And an adios.

After all the Winchesters had business to attend to, the family business.

Maybe Benny left before Dean could actually say end of the line. He couldn't hear the words again.

******

"You have to drink those pouches in front of me? It's creeping me out." Dean drove the Impala to the shore, so they could hunt the old man.

"Hey, I'm doing better, but not to full strength yet." Benny took another sip. "What you jealous of this little plastic line? Want me to be drinking elsewhere?"

"No!" It was a little too emphatic. Benny grinned, Dean blushed, thankful the dark of the car hid it.

******

"I was a vampire once, for a couple of days, until I got cured." Dean said, trying to make conversation. The walk through Purgatory was actually quiet boring when you weren't fighting for survival.

"Oh, couple whole days, really? Well that's mighty impressive brother." Benny stared at the hunter, nodded his head slowly, to show just how impressed he was.

"You feed?" Benny asked a few nights later.

"No, you feed, no cure. But it was hard, I could practically hear the blood moving inside people. Do you hear mine?"

"Moving? Not especially, can hear your pulse if I listen. Was at the game long enough, you can sort of tune it out after awhile."

Benny pulled his hat over his eyes to rest a bit. Dean was ankle tied to Benny. He could get away. He wouldn't. As Benny drifted off he said, "You've got a really pretty pulse point brother."

Dean wondered if he should be proud of that.

******

Benny drove. Just drove. No destination. No plans. Wondered if this was a second chance, or it was a third. Wondered if he would see Dean again. Wondered if Dean would be Dean.

He stopped at a motel. Paid cash. Left an absurd rock name, just in case anyone needed to trail him ever.

He hadn't eaten in two days. He wanted to ration his blood pouches.

He grabbed one from the pile, cracked it open.

Dean. It tasted like Dean.

*****

Benny had slowly wound the thin rope around each of Dean's wrists. The hunter was fact on his back on the bed. Benny pushed his knees up, kept pushing up and in until Dean's ankles and fingers were close and then lashed wrist and ankle together on both sides. He made sure that there was a little play in the binding, but not too much.

"Good?" Benny asked.

"Yup." Dean's response of the positive was reaffirmed by his growing erection. "Be nice to see you naked too."

"I think we can arrange that." It wasn't a strip show, just a methodical removing of clothes, but still it made Dean hungry. He moved a bit, but the angles of his body were just awkward enough that he couldn't do much. He lifted his hips though, seeking something, seeking more.

Benny settled in between those legs. "You looking for anything specific tonight, darlin? You deserve a nice reward for helping me out."

Dean flushed, he didn't want to say it. "Just fuck me good."

"Oh I'm going to do that, but you want anything else?" Benny looked him dead in the eyes.

Dean nodded.

"When do you want that, first or after?"

Dean hummed a little, thought about it. "First."

"Fair enough." Benny worked his way down the mattress, starting sucking Dean's cock. He never worked his way up to it, just always took in as much as he could on his first down. It wasn't subtle, but it was effective. It took only minutes to have Dean gasping, moaning.

He worked his way down, sucking at Dean's balls, licking lower. Soon enough his tongue was licking at Dean's hole, while his hand kept up a quick pace over Dean's cock. Benny loved the noises Dean was making, he loved wrapping his free hand around that bound ankle, rope cool, skin hot.

"Now." Dean said and Benny jerked his head a little to the side, sunk his fangs into high on Dean's thigh, almost at the crease where it met pelvis. Dean thrust his hips up in the air a sharp, jagged movement. His come sticky and warm on Benny's hand, his blood smooth and warm in his mouth. He pulled his teeth out to lick his hand clean.

******

Cas was taking his chance to sleep. Dean was supposed to be doing the same. Benny said there was a good shot they would make the portal in the next day or two.

Dean just stared at the vampire. Months together, and he had been wondering something for awhile. He moved next to the monster. No, not monster. Man. Friend.

"How do I taste?" Dean whispered.

"Sweet. Metallic. If you could taste the purr of a well oiled machine, that's what you taste like."

It was a good answer.

 

 

 

*********************NSFW ART************************


	8. The Silent Heart

_What Dean couldn't say was don't go._

_Don't leave. Not again._

_After all he couldn't promise that either._

_No one ever talked about what to do after true love's kiss saved you._

_No king's horsemen, no king's men._

_But maybe, maybe Dean was a little back together again._

********

"No beat." The motel room creaked from the blowing wind.

"Sorry, brother?" Benny had his arm around Dean, Dean was leaning on his chest.

"Not used to being this close to someone and not hearing a heart beat." Dean tapped a drum onto Benny's sternum, providing that heart beat.

"Bother you?"

"Nah, just cause it's not moving, doesn't mean it's not got stuff going on right?" That was as close as Dean could get to asking how someone felt about him.

"Well that's damn near poetic." Benny drawled.

Dean dreamed he heard the words Je t'aime mon ceour.

******

Abaddon was dead.

The mark glowed. It still was cold, wanted to freeze the heart out of Dean. But it wasn't quite succeeding.

Thump, thump, thump went Dean's heart.

*****

Benny's head lay there on the ground.

For a second Dean's heart was still.

But he'd be back soon, he'd have Sam with him. He'd be back soon. Then Dean's heart could kick into gear again.

******

It wasn't a bad cabin in the middle of nowhere. The woods even reminded Benny a little of Purgatory. Warded, full of weapons, needed some work. A decent place to hide. A decent enough place to live.

Benny tried to figure out if he wanted to stay.

Or if he just wanted to find a hunter and get it all over with.

Again.

******

Benny got pushed over a small escarpment into a lake. Dean dispatched the Leviathan and dove in after. He dragged Benny's ass to shore. Started CPR. Midway through Benny laughed.

"Brother it doesn't beat, all your doing is some really crappy kissing right now."

Dean dropped beside him, laughed. "Right. Forgot."

******

Benny never dreamed that Dean said I love you.

Dean's heart was always silent on those words.

******

Benny always liked a project. Gave it a couple months. Tidied up the cabin, made some repairs. Made some cash labouring in the nearby town.

He wasn't waiting. Not again.

Still every time he heard a distant engine he paused. If he had a heartbeat it would have sped up.

It was never the right engine.

******

Benny was resting, rebuilding the porch had taken a lot of work, but it was attractive and comfortable. His hat covered his eyes, his mind wandered.

No engine, didn't even hear footsteps.

But he did hear that pulse. That beat that was drummed into his head.

"Hey brother."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. It was fun to write in a different style and tone than my usual stories, but I'll be back to regular anarchycox silliness and fluff (with feelings) for the upcoming deanbenny big bang.


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